Category Archives: Christian Kitsch

Football Rosary

football rosary

football rosary

So, I guess Catholics like their sports.  Did you know that there are entire lines of rosaries devoted to sports?  There are rosaries with tiny footballs for beads, as in the one above, so that you can count your Hail Marys while simultaneously praying for a hail Mary on the field.  And there are rosaries with tennis balls for beads so that you can ask our Father for His love while watching the players score love.  How about that?  Here’s a link to purchase them.

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Jesus Kitsch: Manga Messiah Comic Book

Manga Messiah comic book

Manga Messiah comic book

I’ve heard of anime: Japanese-drawn cartoon television shows like “Speed Racer.”  But until recently, I hadn’t heard of manga: Japanese-drawn comic books.  Anime and manga can both be written or spoken in English but the aesthetic of the characters is definitely Asian with sharp cheekbones and tiny chins. Well, now there’s Christian manga!  Halleleujah for that!  You can get the snazzy number above on Amazon.  

Christian comics aren’t completely new.  After all, Archie’s creators struck a licensing deal with a Christian comic book company back in the 70’s and churned out 19 titles.  You can read more that about that here.  My poor memory somehow retains the images of Archie and Betty spouting scripture.  For years I figured my brain was playing tricks on me.  But no, it was real.  Here’s the issue that somehow made its way into my home and my hippocampus, lo those many years ago:

Archie's Love Scene Christian comic

Archie’s Love Scene Christian comic

Angel Action Figure

If you were hoping to re-enact the announcement of Jesus’ birth with action figures one day, well, you’re going to be happy.  I found this set on Amazon.

shepherd and angel action figures with sheep

shepherd and angel action figures with sheep

I can think of a lot of other scenes to re-enact as well.  For instance, the angel Gabriel driving Adam and Eve out of Eden.  Ken and Barbie would come in handy for that drama.  Or maybe you want to show your Sunday school class how the angel appeared to Paul on his tempest-tossed prison ship and told him that Paul would live through the shipwreck.  Or you could create an entire stop-motion movie of the Book of Revelations.  Oh, the possibilities are endless.

 

Jesus On Toast

Jesus Toaster

Jesus Toaster

You may know about this already, but it’s still worth pointing out.  Someone has invented a toaster that burns the image of Christ onto your daily bread.

The Lord on your toast

The Lord on your toast

And that toaster is for sale.  How amazing is this world?

Check it out and remember me at Christmastime.  No, I don’t actually own one of these yet.

http://www.jesustoasters.com/

Flo Rida’s Jesus Kitsch

Flo Rida trotted out in public wearing this completely awesome necklace.

Flo Rida wearing his Jesus bling, photographed by Jamie McCarthy for WireImage.

Flo Rida wearing his Jesus bling, photographed by Jamie McCarthy for WireImage.

I’d say it was “off the chain” but that would be lazy of me.  So instead I’ll say it’s the blingiest testimony I’ve ever seen.  I love it.  As Jesus kitsch goes, it has to be the most expensive item I’ve come across.

Christian Kitsch: Daddy’s Star Catcher

Daddy's Star Catcher

Daddy’s Star Catcher

Daddy’s Star Catcher is a limited edition 12-inch angel sculpture by the artist Thomas Blackshear.  This baby angel looks innocent enough, but he’s clearly destroying galaxies from his perch on his space cloud.  Not everything Blackshear does is this cheesetastic.  This baby will set you back $75 if you buy it, but you can enjoy looking at it for free.  I know it brings a smile to my face.

Christian Kitsch: Bible Alarm Clock

I can’t remember where I bought this Holy Bible alarm clock or I would tell you.  I’ve had it for years.  It makes me laugh out loud every time I use it.  It opens backwards, like the Jewish Torah.  I’m pretty sure it was made in China.  When it goes off, it lights up and plays the “Hallelujah” chorus from Handel’s Messiah at full blast.  This is the LOUDEST alarm clock I have ever owned.  There is no way to turn it down.  I use it when I absolutely, positively, must get up.

Jesus alarm clock opening like the Torah

Holy Bible alarm clock opening like the Torah

Holy Bible alarm clock fully open with pictures of Jesus to inspire you to get up.

Holy Bible alarm clock fully open with pictures of Jesus to inspire you to get up.